About a month ago, my boyfriend and I parted ways. D and I had been together for almost two years, and it was hard. SO hard! When you're with someone for so long, he becomes like a second skin that you wear, even when he's not with you, you know he's there - he becomes part of your identity. It was going to be forever. We had talked moving in together, wedding rings, baby names. But then after a series of ugly fights, it was all over.
The thing is, D wasn't right for me at all! In fact, as the post-breakup pain wears off, I'm beginning to wonder why I started dating him in the first place. It's not that I didn't love him - i was so crazy about him! But because of that, I let chemistry run away with me - and completely forgot to look at who he was as a person.
I am definitely not here to ex-bash. In his defense, D tried really hard to be good to me, he just had no idea how because we were such different people, in such different places in our lives.
But giving that all up was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And somehow, the easiest? (Guess that's how I know it wasn't right)
I haven't given up on love. But I refuse to say anything cliche like 'I know the right guy is out there' or 'love will find me when I am ready', so instead I will quote my favorite author:
“And I learned what is obvious to a child. That life is simply a collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time. That each day should be spent finding beauty in flowers and poetry and talking to animals. That a day spent with dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot be bettered. But most of all, I learned that life is about sitting on benches next to ancient creeks with my hand on her knee and sometimes, on good days, for falling in love.”
— Nicholas Sparks
So here's to living life one day at a time and perhaps, someday, falling in love again.